We Are All Beautiful, Complex Snowflakes

There are probably thousands upon thousands of comics that are out there right now, and I'll probably only get to read maybe less than a quarter of them. Way more than that in my entire lifetime. Who knows, really? Statistics are hard because they are rooted in math, and I know my limitations.

The internet makes it easier to find out about some of these phantoms though, and we all have greater access to underground/indie books that would have went unseen or ran silent through the background previously. Thanks to this whole digital world that runs through our lives, I stumbled across a comic I would NEVER have seen otherwise. It's a story called "Cockbone," which isn't what disqualifies it from appearing on my radar. Where it is published originally does, however; within a publication called "Sleazy Slice," particularly the third issue, which is on sale now.

Written and illustrated by artist Joshua Simmons, "Cockbone" is without a doubt Not Safe For Work (NSFW), and the only reason I mention it is because he has officially posted the entire comic on his website, and that is where this link right here will take you.

My comic reading habits and interests are by no means prudish or close-minded. I don't generally gravitate toward extremely independent books - and yes I will explain what that means - but I'll read something if it seems interesting to me. There isn't any independent book I read on a regular basis, if for no other reason than the area I call home isn't the best place to find indy books. Other than the internet, obviously, I simply don't have a way to get my hands on books that aren't at least published by a mid-level (although still considered indy by some) publisher.

I remember really wanting to read "Let's Go To Utah," by Dave Chisholm, but never getting around to ordering it online. Maybe that's the problem, maybe I'm a passive comic buyer when it comes to the internet, and since extremely indy books - I promise a definition is coming - are generally only available to me through the internet, my situation persists.

There is probably a much more detailed review of "Cockbone" resting in my brain somewhere, but wrenching it out might be impossible. I can easily edit it all down to "disturbing, over the top, shock for shock sake," and that isn't really an interesting review to read. I'm much more interested in the idea of independent books that are capable of printing ANYTHING, and the idea that these books are out there hiding, in a way, from some readers. I say they're hiding because they are, with only a little generalization, books that have to be sought out. Even if you hear of an indy book, finding it might be hard, or more steps than a reader is willing to take, and that could kill the whole process of reading the thing.

Extremely independent books - to me, at least - are publications that don't have the help of a distributor, or publication house which can utilize advertising in even small ways. Maybe this book "Sleazy Slice" utilizes advertising, but from looking at the purchase page, I sincerely doubt it. Part of me wants to classify extremely independent books as those that aren't held to any standards regarding content - either pertaining to quality or decency - but there are plenty of other publications which would render this point both incorrect and asinine, so I'll skip that. Maybe my mind goes there even briefly because books like "Sleazy Slice" exist in the first place. Not that I'm begrudging the publication's existence, or saying any of the readers shouldn't be allowed to read what they want, because I am absolutely against censorship.

The amount of adult content available within comic book form would probably astonish me. Like I said earlier, I'm not a prude or easily offended, but something about seeing a comic written and drawn for no other reason than sexual desires to be sated seems somehow odd to me. There being so much pornography within the world containing living, breathing humans - or whatever - would seem to render the creation of such comics moot, but that is most definitely not the case.

Again, I am absolutely not saying these comics shouldn't exist, or are wrong for being here, I just cannot wrap my head around there being a reason for them. Sure, this could lead to a huge debate about sexual desire, and differing personalities and so on, but that's not what I want. I know why porn exists - it's not that difficult to figure out - so the existence of porn comics isn't a mind-blowing enigma.

"Cockbone" made all of this happen in my head. It's story is almost, but not quite non-existent. I do think great stories can be told which contain mature themes, but the artist has to know the limitations of this, know that like any other story the mechanism of the tale could come crashing down if one part isn't in the right place. "Cockbone" does come crashing down, and exists as a bizarre mini-comic porn. I'm not saying that makes it wrong, or bad, but I am saying it isn't anything more. Not that it is attempting to be anything else. After all, it was originally printed in a book called "Sleazy Slice," with the blurb "The annual comix anthology devoted to debauchery" right there on the cover.

#004 - The Pirate Journals!

There is absolutely no reason for you not to listen to this show. We talk a lot, some of it pretty deep and interesting, some of it, yeah, related to pirate journals. We are freaking begging you to give us comments right here, on this bliggity-blog, or how about on Twitter, Facebook, or even over at our totally professional hideousenergy@gmail.com email address? Let's take a look at the insanity/intrigue you're in store for.

Episode 4:

• Topic Thunder: Oh boy, there's a lot this time around. Here are some brief rundowns - Bob Harras, new E.I.C. of DC, leave the "Harras-ment" jokes at the door; Marvel E.I.C. Joe Quesada ?likes? writing comics?; Bendis wants more journalism, of the investigative and non-pseudo-hip variety; and Skottie Young talks about comics!
• Couch Change: If you can't find any loose change in your couch, just sell the damn couch and buy some comics with it.

• Top 5: Villains Who Probably Just Need a Hug. We really thought about this one deeply. Psychology comes into play. Yes. Yes it does.

David Hopkins and Austin Wilson yakkity-yak at you. Running time is one hour and eleven minutes. That's the length of one'a them flicker shows!

#003 - David & Austin Vs. The Animals

 We love you so much that we won't stop. Here is Hideous Energy: Episode 3, and it is wildly all over the place, and much shorter than episode 2. Please leave us comments right here, on this shiny freaking blog, or on Twitter, Facebook, or at hideousenergy@gmail.com. What are you going to listen to this time? Here it is!

Episode 3:

• Read 'Em and Weep: We review two books this time around that aren't easily reviewed, but we manage to still get some talking done.
• Couch Change: Save some money, sure, but don't save all of it. Spend some too. You're welcome.
• Top 5: Animals We Would Love To Fight. (There is plenty to apologize for in this segment. We are unsure of all the problems we have. We know some of them, yes, but mostly we're surprised we say things like we do occasionally. And we're sorry.)

Utilizing the voices and talent (?) of David Hopkins and Austin Wilson. Running time is 44 minutes and 33 seconds. You can listen to this while you eat dinner.

#002 - The Time of Your Life ("It's clever, and ironic.")

Back again for another week of discussion and distracted rambling, Hideous Energy: Episode 2 delivers on its promise of giving you a unique take into news that has been reported elsewhere. This week's episode features special guest Emery Peck. He's only our friend so we can make fun of him! Woo-hoo! If you have anything to say about any of this we can be yelled at here, through the comments, or on Twitter, Facebook, or at hideousenergy@gmail.com. Thanks for listening.

Episode 2:

• Topic Thunder: We discuss a Cincinnati retailer who loves to talk with his head in his ass, and the Spider-Man musical! A thin theme barely ties these together, but maybe we don't even discuss that.
• Read 'Em and Weep: Three books. We talk about what - if any - emotional reaction we had to these. There are tears and cackling and repressed emotions for everyone!
• Couch Change: You should go spend money on comics. Or whatever else we tell you to buy.
• Top 5: Alternate Spider-Man musical titles.

Featuring David Hopkins, Austin Wilson, and special guest star Emergy "Emerald" Peck. Running time is pretty much 1 hour and 23 minutes. You must really love us.

P.S. We are desperately working to get the shows uploaded to iTunes, but it is hard. We promise they will be available for download eventually, so you don't have to chain yourself to your computer in order to listen. Seriously, whoever you are, thank you for caring that we do this.

Hideous Energy - Alan Moore

In case you aren't familiar with the reasoning behind "Hideous Energy" and its existence, go check out the first posting. Now that you've read that you can transition nicely into the first ever of "Hideous Energy's Biographical Musings," which is a title that will surely change every single time we do one.

Who could be driven, focused, and downright shit-turds nuts enough to be featured as the very first subject in this featured article? You guessed it. Uncle Beard himself, Alan Moore.

Western philosophy and existential theory suggests that everyone knows Alan Moore is crazy. This may or may not have to do with the collective unconscious and Carl Jung, or the Roman snake god Glycon.

Moore has been outcrazying the crazy for a while now, but he's done a couple of things lately that I think will land securely on the top of his "Best Of" list, one because it's genuinely crazy, and the other because it's sort of just ironic and quietly laughable.

First, the subtler of the two. Here is what Alan Moore said in an interview with Bleeding Cool, and was later quoted on every site ever: 

"At the end of the day, if they haven’t got any properties that are valuable enough, but they have got these ‘top-flight industry creators’ that are ready to produce these prequels and sequels to WATCHMEN, well this is probably a radical idea, but could they not get one of the ‘top-flight industry creators’ to come up with an idea of their own? Why are DC Comics trying to exploit a comic book that I wrote 25 years ago if they have got anything? Sure they ought to have had an equivalent idea since? I could ask about why Marvel Comics are churning out or planning to bring out my ancient MARVELMAN stories, which are even older, if they had a viable idea of their own in the quarter-century since I wrote those works. I mean, surely that would be a much easier solution than all of this clandestine stuff? Just simply get some of your top-flight talent to put out a book that the wider public outside of the comics field find as interesting or as appealing as the stuff that I wrote 25 years ago. It shouldn’t be too big an ask, should it? I wouldn’t have thought so. And it would solve an awful lot of problems. They must have one creator, surely, in the entire American industry that could do equivalent work to something I did 25 years ago. It would be insulting to think that there weren’t.”

Yep, DC has treated Moore poorly in the past, and Marvel definitely has too. Most recently DC has flirted with the idea of doing sequels/prequels to "Watchmen," which Glycon himself (herself?) handed down to Moore, possibly through earth-bound minion Thulsa Doom. Somehow DC has managed to ratchet up their own level of crazy to rival Moore's, at least in this situation.

Doing anything with "Watchmen" that isn't spilling out of Moore's completely fictional Trepanation hole would be one of, if not THE worst thing they could do. Surely it would make a little money, but it would hurt them more by how many pissed off readers were birthed when they felt wronged by a company they willingly give money to all the time.

Moore's interview managed to rile everyone up, even though the dude has been saying crazy shit forever. The comic creators on Twitter have been particularly vocal about it (Busiek, Diggle, Lapham).

Moore has his defenders and his detractors, but shit, doesn't everyone? The guy has written plenty of classics, some forgettable stuff, and some stuff that is downright unreadable. He isn't afraid of his own opinions though, and in reality, what else should the readers of the world want from those delivering their sought after drug?

What struck me about this whole little verbal pushing match was another quote I read from Moore, taken from an interview/conversation he held with indie comics' Dave Sim. The quote: "...opinion is surely a devalued currency at this juncture of the twentieth century, simply by virtue of the vast amount of it there is flooding the market." Sure, he said it in the '80s, so maybe his opinion of opinion has changed. I doubt it though.

Now, what about that other crazy shit he did? Okay, to be fair it was in 2006, but I think it was crazy enough to last all four years between then and now.

He wrote a pornographic (a word Moore used himself in describing the book) original graphic novel about Alice from "Alice In Wonderland," Dorothy from "The Wizard of Oz," and Wendy from "Peter Pan." I haven't read it, and there is a possibility that it's beautiful and a work of art. Imagine hearing that pitch though, even if - maybe especially - it was coming from Alan Moore. Hooo-boy.